Martha Stewart I Am Not

I am not motivated to do all Martha Stewart crafty, craft, crafts, DIY projects. I wish I was. I have the skill and can learn new skills. I can read and follow instructions, use my hands to build, craft, cook, and blah, blah, blah, whatever Martha Stewart can do. What it really comes down to is the motivation and time. Wait, maybe it’s the motivation to find the time?

Having two kids under the age of 4, a husband balancing his career with a hobby that is also a second job, and finding a sliver of time for me is a fine balance. My professional life, motherhood, wifedom, a house, and the need to be social with anyone other than family can be oh-so-hard. Then there is the dog, bird, ducks, yard, garden, maintenance on the car, maintenance of the house, oh wait, maintenance on the people inside too, that all need attention. It is hard either working outside of the home or inside at home.

*sigh* When I was home on leave, I had a lovely schedule and felt we were finding a nice balance in our roles. I figured out how to keep our sanity, cleanliness, food, health, and happiness. It wasn’t perfect but it worked better than how I feel compared to now.

While on maternity leave I found my mojo for motivating, and it was above sub-par. I did do more Martha Stewarty things. I’d plan out my week with meals in mind, prepping food on Sunday’s, baking bread during the week, errands for groceries or house projects,  social dates for the 3-year-old for his need and mine, crafts here and there, and random projects. It wasn’t always perfect, but I came an inch closer to feeling that I had Martha Stewarty tendencies. Not only did our days work well with a routine in place, a lot could depend on if my 3-year-old began his day on a good note or a rocky-ass start.

Today my motivation is sub-par, maybe even sub-sub par. At the end of the day or when the weekend comes we’re just plain, old tired. E.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d. I would rather sit and play with my kiddos, or this is sad but clean rises to the top of the list too, than to  do the projects that look oh-so-cool and “I got that, easy-peasy” on Pinterest and in M.S.’s books. Yeah it just isn’t happening.

 

 

Three-Day Weekend Wake-Up

Tuesday Madness: Waking up after a three-day weekend, forgetting to set the alarm. House is a mess, kitchen is…well it can speak for its self- watermelon cut up, eaten rinds on counter, coffee not made, toilet paper on floor from 3.5 year old running through house Sunday afternoon, dirty pan from a green beans sauté; 1/2 eaten cereal bags on counter-trying to decide do we feed to worms or throw away, or make a random cookie with preschooler? A pile of dirty clothes needing to be washed (3 days overdue), kids room–floor is iffy to not step on something and hurt a toe or trip, living room- stroller from night before, toys on floor, dog throw up stain needing to be washed, husbands shoes piled here and there, wet-vac next to front door due to a problem on the couch and the  guest bed too- blue paint now removed, and finally the bathroom…oddly the one clean room in the house.

The post-Memorial Day weekend, go back to our regularly scheduled week. A good, relaxing weekend. Not sure we accomplished as much as we set out to. Except I did get 7 miles of walking and running in–that’s different, felt good, feeling stiff *sigh*

We are not a wonderful Pinterest edition of handicrafts with lovely, smiling children. This reality is sprinkled with 3.5 year old energy and adult exhaustion. My husband and I falling trap to our way or the highway methodology. Realizing we need to compromise and parent together, and ultimately have time with each other sans kids.

This is a household with organized chaos driving me bonkers some days, and one in which I’m learning to relax and let things go. Life will happen, pay attention, and it’ll be okay. I know we’re not the only parents fighting the good fight and surviving the 3-year-old dictatorship that I wasn’t aware of existing till now.

This must be what life is like at this stage in our lives. This must be it. The household with two peeps under 3 ft. tall moving, pulling items out every which way, and the 3.5 year old telling us exactly what to do, how to do it, and when we may absolutely not dance or sing. The 3.5 yr. old peep has spoken.

First day of the week is over. Nightfall is here. Time to sleep and prepare for a new day tomorrow in which I hope the little peeps will allow us to dance our booties and sing songs to make some noise.

Life as I know It

It felt like it was time.

Time to change it up, the title of this blog.

I’ve pondered the idea of this blog. Asking myself what am I doing with this blog writing? Am I the audience or others? Continue on as a diary and documenting, or writing to share with others to  confirm that I’m not alone on this journey I’m on.  Are these words to remember and mark the moments in my life or to learn and continually work to be my best?

Yes. Yes, I think I shall work at this blog-thing. In a way it’s a personal challenge to not stop and give up. As I thought about this dilemma of mine, it dawned on me what I really needed was to change the title. It was a lightbulb-above-my-head moment. Life has changed for us. We were a family of three, growing to a family of four. No longer a soon-to-be-three, but now a family of four.  Still a menagerie but now the challenge is finding my eternal search for balance as a working woman, mother, and wife.

I write to organize my thoughts as I work towards better organization in my life. It’s amazing how a fourth family member can change my process of organization at home and for work. It is a struggle I am continually searching for balance.  It’s not easy. I know, I know! Life isn’t easy. Yet I am surrounded by a lot of SAHM’s and there are days I feel like a forgotten minority. It is hard and emotionally taxing some days. It is a fine dance that I am continually dancing by myself to balance my happiness, to keep my children happy and healthy, and to also remember to keep my relationship with DH in a good happiness quota. It is a tango that takes two of my lives to complete. Home life with children, husband, pets, household organization. My other side, my professional career with budgets, staff, events, organization, meetings, analyzing, and more meetings.

It is with both of my lives from motherhood and working woman that I shall focus on this balance with a new title “It Takes Two to Tango: Motherhood and Working Gal”

Spring has Arrived!

Spring is here. More daylight, more sunshine, warmer temperatures, plants blooming, birds are returning, and we have more energy to play and live life.

When I’m asked which season is my favorite, I usually begin with one season, but waffle and think about the positive virtues of another season. I love each season and there isn’t one that I dislike. I love to ski, I love the winter coziness, and I find it is the season with the excuse to do cozy activities, like stay inside and watch movies on a dark, rainy afternoon. Autumn crunchy leaves, warm foods begin to return to our menu such as soups and warm apple pie. Summer, oh summer, how we love your warmth and long days full of opportunity for adventure.

Now spring is here, we have sprung forward and I’m amazed how I forget how good I feel with more sunshine and vitamin D. Ok, ok, usually there is a time in the winter when I begin to crave the desert and open skies. After awhile I suppose the darkness does get to me. That’s when I find myself sitting in the sun, face up and soaking in the sunshine, remembering it’s been way to long to feel sunshine.

I’ve begun walking home with my son from the daycare he attends twice a week. He talks about his day and the daffodils he sees in the variety of yards and parks.  He notes which houses have flowers, who doesn’t (“why no daffodils?”), and pointing out the yellow of fresh and old daffodils. I’m discovering walking home with him, which is about a 1.5 miles (ok, with help of a stroller since the baby is with us), to be a fun nature walk. Looking at neighborhoods, the plants, yards, picking up leaves, and lots of questions from him.

The signs of spring are here as we cross a small bridge, looking at Amazon Creek flow by, catkins on the willows are present. Indian Plum is blooming, magnolia and dogwoods are blooming in different yards, birds are flitting here and there. I’m hoping to continue this walk through the spring as it has been a good opportunity to be with one another in a quieter mode with discussion and observation.

I feel the spring renewal. We’re outside playing more, planning next steps for summer gardening and yard prep, and enjoying the light at the end of the day with neighborhood walks. 

Spring is here and though I didn’t feel a need for it to arrive sooner than later, I now realize I feel the need for the sunlight and new growth in the plants and ourselves. Next steps include continuing my goal with running again after a long hiatus, working the yard to prepare for the summer, and making sure we spend as much time as we can outside playing and exploring.

“Spring is nature’s way of saying: ‘Let’s party!’” — Robin Williams

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Two years….two kids…work….life…and Hawaii

Crazy.

Two years since I’ve written here.

I’ve learned a lot in the past two years. Lots.

How to raise a strong-willed toddler now preschooler.

How to navigate parenthood with my husband, learning every day. Every day there seems to be a curve ball. Go figure.

How to be better with budgets, food shopping and meal planning, shopping for gifts and myself, how not to shop…

Learning to think about the future, where do I want to be in 1, 2, 3, 5 ,10 years?

What type of car do we want in the future? Researching this.

Thinking a lot about this blog, how to improve to write, journal, and have fun.

What to shape it into and how…

Always thinking, pondering, dreaming, living life.

There’s always another trip to Hawaii…

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Learning success from failure

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life.  And that is why I succeed. – Michael Jordan

Ahh…a quote to get me through the days that are hard, or when the going gets tough and I feel that I’m not succeeding at what I’m doing. Thanks for the reminder Mr. Jordan, thank you for a few words of wisdom.